Have you ever felt this endless energy that needs to break free?  That’s it, right now, for me.

When I was about 11 I tried to write a book, an actual novel if you will.  A sequel to a book written well over two hundred years ago.  My mom kept it and shows it to her friends every once in a while, but it was terrible.  Grammar aside it was lacking that flow that every reader needs to get through any subject matter.

Let’s just say that when I write any e-mail whether personal or professional, I have to edit before I hit the send button because god only knows what kind of sense anyone would make out of the unedited version. English major I was not, so my grammar and sentence structure is still lacking most of the time.

Now a days I read self-help articles, like best retirement funds and best accounts to utilize for saving.  My husband and I went through Financial Peace and it’s a great program if you work the system.  We’re not quite so dedicated as all that, but we did take some of the themes and applied it in our everyday life.  We did in fact get out of debt, not because of a diehard dedication.  Instead I took the stubborn way out and was determined to out earn the debt.  What ended up happening was an overwhelming amount of burn out. You might be thinking to yourself well she still got out of dept.  I’m not trying to discount the outcome because tt was really great to not be bogged down by so many bad life choices.  However, once that goal was gone where was I going to go from here?  I was so focused for so long on achieving that one Goal and then when it happened, I felt lost.

Then I came across an article about how to start a blog.  Well, I’ve always wanted to be a writer and to fulfill that endeavor I started oh so long ago at 11 that never came to fruition.  “Have credit card will blog”.

I’m over 40 and still haven’t quite found my passion.  Speaking of passion one of my most favorite co-workers quit her full-time job to fulfill her passion of teaching.  Let’s just say being cooped up with a bunch of 6-year-olds all day, every day isn’t necessarily my idea of a fulfilling life especially in the public school system, but hey to each their own.

According to these blog articles I was now obsessed with reading they recommended you write 1,000 words 2-4 times per week.  That seems incredibly daunting, but I also read somewhere that Stephen King or was it James Patterson, can’t really remember would write 4 good pages per day to finish their novels.  Four pages doesn’t seem that overwhelming if writing novels is your fulltime situation. Did they mean 4 raw pages or 4 edited pages? Not really quite sure?

My point is they set a goal, a smaller goal that’s reasonable and can be accomplished every day. I’m big into taking any task and breaking it down into its most finite parts before I begin any project. Here is my attempt at an outlet to get all this pent-up anger, frustration, and aggression out in a positive way and hey maybe my interests or experience will help to either inspire or provide a really good laugh.

What does any of this have to do with Law School you ask?  Well, I applied to Law School at the ripe old age of 37.  I didn’t get in that year because I applied too late for early admissions. I did get a really nice call from the Dean who said just apply for next year but to apply early.  The issue I mentioned to the Dean was that if they didn’t take me this year and I had to take an entire year off from school as I had just finished my Master’s degree that I wouldn’t go back.

Guess what that’s exactly what happened.  The transition year went by and after a disastrous attempt at retaking the LSAT, which by the way I did pretty good at the first go round but was hoping to get my score up after actually studying this time.  It didn’t happen and I didn’t reapply.  I was totally discouraged and let’s face it, it was nice not having to go to class and study all the time.  Besides Law School is expensive or at least the private University I had planned on attending. The only one in the State I reside in that offers a part-time night program.  I am not brave enough to quit my full-time gig to pursue even the most sought-after dream.  Hence the blog. Jury’s still out whether this will turn into anything.  After all it took me two years to post my first article.  That’s right I’ve been working up the courage to post this for almost two years.

Work has been my excuse my entire life.  I used work as an excuse to get out of everything and generally avoid life.  Work is extremely important, but how do you balance marriage, kids, and life in general with work?  Don’t get me wrong I like working because it gives me something to do and let’s face it, it brings in the cash that makes the world go round.

However, within the past six months life and family have come to a head. I am desperately trying to realign my priorities to put forth what really matters to me.  I just need to figure out what that is. Hopefully it doesn’t take another 2 years to post another article.  Sometimes it’s that first step that is the scariest and it appears I’ve taken that step.